Thursday, July 31, 2008

It Ain't Right, 1st Edition

Boots in the Summer
Heels at McCarren
Line for MGMT past the BQE
3 different bars in East Williamsburg in the same night and all 3 bars playing the MGMT Kids song
More than 5 minute wait for 4/5/6
Not being able to wake up before 12:30pm for the entire month of July
Smoking cigarettes at indoor venues
Tacky French men on ecstasy dancing/blocking your view of Sebastien

Thursday, July 24, 2008


5 Reasons to Consider O'bama for the Presidency:

He may or may not have lied about a thesis he wrote – “Soviet Nuclear Disarmament,” which was supposedly written around the height of the cold war. He proved that no one really cares about what you studied in college and you can half-lie or make things up if you wait 25 years to talk about it.

He used to smoke cigarettes and use other substances as a young adult in college (just like me and you), and has publicly declared it (unlike me and you).

He exercises twice a day to stay fit for the campaign trail and his workout routine makes headline news.

He knows that the majority of Middle America won’t vote for a black man, so he decided to not waste time there and went to Berlin to appeal to the Germans instead. (And: Afghanistan, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Israel and the Palestinian territories – soon France and the G.B.)

Made Ebony Magazine’s list of “The Top 25 Coolest Brother’s of All Time” - among the ranks of Prince, Jay-Z, Samuel L. Jackson, and Denzel.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Seven Year Hole

Please be advised there may be extended hours of construction as part of the Ground Zero rebuild which is adjacent to the hotel. Some streets may be closed at times to vehicles due to construction...

Priceline Booker: So I see on your website that there are extended construction hours going on around your hotel. What is that all about exactly?....

Guest Service Agent: Well sir, we are right across the street from the World Trade Center site. It is a 24 hour, 7 days a week project that we have no jurisdiction over. The city has many contractor's and subcontractor's working around the clock to ensure that that Freedom Tower is built by the projected year of 2011.

PB:Well just how loud is the noise, are the street closures that bad, and are you really going to charge the full rate with all of this happening?

GSA:Sir, the severity of the noise would have to be based on an individual's sensitivity to it, and where they are placed at in the hotel. If you are on a higher floor and facing away from the construction, then you may not notice it at all. Priceline gives you an extremely reduced rate as well.

PB: Well if I book now, can I be guaranteed a room on a high floor and facing away from the construction?

GSA: I'm sorry sir, but unfortunately we would not be able to accommodate you with that request. Rooms are selected at the time of check-in.

PB: Well it's just unfortunate that you can't accommodate me with a high floor room or a reduced rate with all of the construction noise and traffic and all..

GSA: Sir, what happened in 2001 was unfortunate for us all. Due to our location and circumstances, we have been trying to the best of our ability to satisfy all guests that decide to stay with us here at the hotel.

PB: I think I will book elsewhere, I don't want to gamble a good night's sleep at your hotel.